So the Retired Porn Producer gets a lot of mail asking for legal advice for the porn industry. Everyone wants to shag, no one wants to do the paper work. But if you don’t take care of this shit then you’ll end up like Joe Francis. So you’re going to need a lawyer for sure, but how do you know if the lawyer is really doing the jobs that need to be done? How do you know what questions to ask.

This book, Contracts for the Film & Television Industry has all the basic film industry contracts. Its just a start, but also gives you a run down of what will be needed and example contracts that you can have your “intern” type out, or you could buy the disk. It will be the best $25 bucks you’ll spend as a Porn Producer.

1. Become a Ladies Man

Don’t knock it! If you can’t get them to sleep with you, you’ll never get them in front of the camera. Take out women for all walks of life, and try out all the moves yourself. Use the online dating sites with the wilder side, and really find your niche.

And remember, when in the field cover up. Protect yourself when doing your research.

2. Get Kinky! Get a Camera

Try to make a few videos with your lady friends…dam the things are only like 100 bucks these days…

3. Get a Lawyer!

Oh shit, should I have put this one before the get camera one??? Well its game over for all you losers who didn’t finish the list before posting some one night stand online. You’re probably in jail or worse by now…it happened to a guy I know, when he gets out of the slammer he’s going to need every last dime some buy his DVDs:

4. Make a Website

You gotta make a name for yourself. And today that means having a website, here are some cheap services to get you started. You’re gonna need unlimited band-thingy, so pony up.

5. Face Reality and Make Some Money

Your videos aren’t going to make you any money, advertising other peoples big budget skin flicks is going to make the money. Use established porn affiliate programs like:

Ron, my bestboy, he likes Pussy Cash for his videos.

6. That’s Right No One Wants Your Stinking Videos

There are thousands of guys like you out there…you think you’re the only one who wants the glammer??? The ejaculation!! That is being a porn producer…I mean the thrill of seeing your work, your best babe’s booty on the screen… Well, I won’t spoil it for you.

But what I’m told you gotta do these days is give it way, so now here’s the smart part…you contact all those sites where people get to see shitty short clips…and tell them that you have a site that has shitty medium length clips, to which they’ll very likely ask, “Are you Cornholing me?” And you’re not, so it will be ok…here is one to get you started.

JuicyClips

That’s it…you are now a modern day porn producer. If you read this but want to be talent in the porn industry, I’ve got some reading for you to brush up on your skills.

But can you really handle it? Find out, take my quiz.